Non-Player Characters

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Fantasy University[]

Rickety Docks[]

"Mad Captain Willy Jack, the Silly Sod of Scissor Street! He'll cut your hair, he'll raid your ship, he'll cook you something good to eat!"

Quests:

Reference to Johnny Depp and his characters: Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka, Captain Jack Sparrow, Sweeney Todd and the Mad Hatter

Captain Arrr

"Here be Captain Arrr! Mighty captain of the SS Deckjoke, Fantasy University's schoolbus."

Reference to the Captain from Cap'n Crunch Cereal.

Admiral Snackbar

"It's a snack!"

Reference to Admiral Ackbar from the Star Wars universe.

The Docktopus

Most commonly selling Health Eclair and Parsnip Juice

Student Union No. 98[]

The Office

Amma Terraneo

"In spite of the cats, there's a rumor on campus that Amma is the sanest person at F.U."

Quests:

Milf and Cookies

Possibly a reference to Anna Karenina, due to the references to sexuality and cats (Anna's younger sister in the novels was named Kitty). The name is also a pun when said phoentically ("Imma Tranny-yo").

The Headmaster

"The big cheese. The head of the college. Founder of Fantasy University and the whole reason you're here. Be nice."

The Principle Pal

"Capped teeth and bad comb-over aside, everyone needs a friend at school! Why the Headmaster keeps him around is a mystery, but at least he isn't hurting anyone."

A reference to Mr Belding from Saved By The Bell

Vandell the Vandel

"He probably just didn't get enough hugs as a child. No, do not go hug him."

Nurse's Office

The Nurse

The Head Nurse scowls at you, grunts, and shakes her head. If she could talk in a range that your ears could pick up, you imagine she'd say: "You no need healz! You leave me and doctors alone now. Yes?!"

Dr. Mac Steamy

"On the plus side, all that steam? His clothes never wrinkle."

Reference to Marc Sloan on Greys Anatomy, or Dr. Mark Greene from E.R.

Handsy

Reference to Thing from The Addams Family

Forbidden Larder

The Top Chef

A veritable gastronaut, a tortured soul who paints in beurre blanc, lemongrass foams, and balsamic reductions.

Quests:

Hallow The Mallow

Reference to Chef Gordon Ramsay and to Takeshi Kaga, the host of the original Iron Chef.

Common Ground

Note: The Knights of Gouda as a group reference the web series The Guild, each member parodying an individual member of The Knight of Good (the namesake guild)

Fork

Seemed leader of The Knights of Gouda.

Reference to Vork.

Carla

"Carla seems oblivious to much of the activity around her. The Knights of Gouda like their Mathemagician to be focused."

Reference to Clara.

Codie

"Codie is Cheermonger for the Knights of Gouda. She seems to talk... alot. Even when no one is there. Hmmm..."

Reference to Codex.

Zaboohoo

"The Knights of Gouda pride themselves on strong members... and Zaboohoo. This emomancer can out-emo some of the best. Heh, Emo'd."

Reference to Zaboo.

Blahdezz

"Blahdezz is the Slackninja for the Knights of Gouda. Blahdezz often refers to himself in the third person. Blahdezz thinks this is cool."

Reference to Bladezz.

Tinkerbrawla

"Tinkerbrawla is the official Dodgebrawler of the Knights of Gouda. She makes you nervous with those balls in her hand."

Reference to Tinkerballa.

Mordorms[]

Lobby

Skool Suplies shopkeeper

Floor 14

Ron Wheeezy

Harmony Lounger

Reference to Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter

Floor 2

Biff the R.A.

Quests: OMG SLUMBER PARTY!

Reference to Biff from the Back to the Future movies

Merwin of Pythagoria

Mathemagician

Reference to Merlin and Pythagoras

Philip Juandego

Slackninja

Grumpy Buskins

Emomancer

Randy McDandy Jr.

Dodgebrawler

Prescilla Giggleberry

Cheermonger

Detention Dungeon[]

The Detentionkeeper

The Detentionkeeper had a name once, until he rolled it up and ate it.

A reference to the Incredible Hulk.

The Janitor

It's said the Janitor once had an illustrious and promising career as a brain surgeon. It's also said that he was raised in a squirrel cage. One of those is true.

A reference to the Janitor from Scrubs.

Liberal Arts[]

Laura A. Framingham

Perpetual gloom surrounds the leader of the Emomancers, giving her a certain air of mystery, a certain je ne c'est... I dunno.

Reference to Laurell K. Hamilton, author of the Anita Blake novels

Jeff LeBruceli

The man. The abiding mystery. But you can just call him... "Dude". No, really, he prefers it to that ridiculous name.

Reference to Jeff Lebowski from the movie The Big Lebowski.

Hannah Missourah

Please do not confuse her with that other Hannah. She doesn't like it. And if you think she's unbearable now, she gets even cuter when she's angry.

Reference to Hannah Montana.

Conservative Arts[]

DDr. Michichi Kookoo

With his doubel-doctorate in Astro-Frenology and Microtemporal Mathemagicks, DDr. Kookoo has leared above all else that the rhythm is, in fact, going to get you.

Reference to Dance Dance Revolution and the Discovery Channel's physicist Michio Kaku.

Botches O'Mulligan

Ol' Botches has a saying: "If you can dodge a wench, you can dodge my balls." Misquote? One can only hope.

Reference to the film Dodgeball.

Prof. Jamie 'Savage' Adam

Reference to MythBusters' Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage.

Townshire[]

Upper Townshire[]

Town Halle

Mayor McQwimby

Your eyes don't deceive you. He is, in fact, the head cheese around here.

Quests:

Turtles in the Half-Well, IE Gutter

Reference to The Simpsons' Mayor Quimby as well as McDonalds' Mayor McCheese.

A Really Nice Park

Dog the Bounty Fish

Reference to Dog the Bounty Hunter

Yii Ole Mine

Reference to Grimace of McDonaldland from McDonald's commercials.

Devilish Drive-Thru

The Dungeonmaster

Reference to Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons

Town Green[]

The Piano Guy and Elton

Reference to Billy Joel and Elton John.

Keeper of the Bar

Reference to Sam Malone from Cheers and Quark, the Ferengi from the Star Trek Universe.

Professor Tree Name

You know, using colors for town names was cute and all, but this whole tree thing is pushing it just a little bit.

Trains your pets at the Petsgo Field.

Reference to Professor Oak of Nintendo's Pokemon games.

Off the Chain shopkeeper

Reference to John Belushi from Animal House.

Craftwerks shopkeeper

Reference to Martha Stewart, prison-style.

Pants Half Off shopkeeper

Lower Townshire[]

Loogie McCheese

Remember when you were little, and you'd accidentally kick a ball into the old man's yard who lived down the street? And remember how the old guy would snatch up the ball, refuse to give it back, and then stab it with an icepick over and over pretending it was your face? Yeah, this guy is that guy's dad.

Beer, Bait and Swords shopkeeper

Steve the Tentacle

Public Transport Cat

Reference to the Catbus (Nekobusu) from My Neighbor Totoro, Monorail Cat meme from icanhascheezburger and the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.

Bread Basket[]

Bacon Acres[]

Farmer Vill

Reference to Farmville.

Farmer in the Dell

The Farmer in the Dell, the Farmer in the Dell, Hi-ho, the derry-o, did we mention he's the Farmer in the Dell?

Reference to Dell computers.

Notorious P.I.G.

Reference to the Notorious B.I.G.

Herb

Shopkeeper at Herb and Spices

The Scalper

Accepts old carnival prizes such as a Blue Star Duck found bobbing for sausages and trades them for Genri-Tickets

Boudin Noir

Literally: "Black Sausage", a blood sausage traditionally made with, yes, pig's blood. Reference to Guy Noir from Garrison Keillor's radio show Prairie Home Companion.

Pasta Orchards[]

Farmer Miranda

Reference to Carmen Miranda

Farmer Maynard

The lieutenant of lettuce, the colonel of corn, the commander of carrots!

Reference to Maynard James Keenan of the band Tool

Mack Lalanne

Before you got out of bed this morning, this guy swam the length of the Elanthian Sea harnessed to 14 mega-freighters each loaded with a full season's harvest of Hypersquid. You're probably not even dressed.

Reference to Jack Lalanne of Power Juicer fame.

Quests: Killer Juice (Daily)

Neygiri

Reference to Avatar

Warden Cliff's Tower[]

Warden Cliff

Reference to Doc Brown from the Back to the Future trilogy.

Pleasanton[]

Boarded-Up Mall[]

Gepedo

Reference to Geppetto and Pinocchio, as well as Herbert (the creepy pedophile) from Family Guy.

Barney Filthe

Reference to Barney Fife (played by Don Knotts) in The Andy Griffith Show.

Town Square[]

Mayor Brian

Outer Limits[]

Ervin, the Nervous Farmhand

Reference to American Gothic

The Faunted Family

Reference to The Cosby Show

Trainwreck[]

Misplaced Bear

Reference to the Polar Bear in Lost.

The Jungle[]

Jane Allswell

Reference to Jane Goodall.

Hugozan

Hugozan is an expert in speaking to primates who've passed on to the afterlife, or Necrosimianism.

Reference to Tarzan and Hugo "Hurley" Reyes from Lost.

Skeezy Kong

Reference to King Kong and Donkey Kong.

Shifty Kong

Reference to King Kong and Donkey Kong.

E.A.T.E.M. HQ[]

Melanie Hugglepup

Archaeologists Anonymous[]

Sir Archibald Dirtypants

The Mangle[]

Nostalgya[]

Peso Arcade[]

Peso Arcade Guys - Reference to Mike Krahulik's Johnathan 'Gabe' Gabriel and Jerry Holkin's Tycho Brahe of Penny Aracde.

Sage Eru - Reference to Shigeru Miyamoto of Nintendo.

Quests: Welcome to the Warp Zone

Phil Wright - 'Hair this cool should be a sim, err, sin.' Reference to The Sims and Will Wright.

Quests:

Alan Bushwell - 'I don't think this is quite what they meant when they said, "Discover how far you can go."' Reference to Allan Alcom (Pong creator) and Nolan Bushnell (Atari co-founder).

Quests: Veneer and Far